I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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