I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
