I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
