He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
