Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
