actually, I'm a sock model
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize