I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
