i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
