have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
