i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
