she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
