he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
