I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
