I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
