i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
