Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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