Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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