Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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