I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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