talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
