you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
