also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
