The maid of honor just puked.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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