you guys were way drunker than both of me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
