Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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