she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
