Say something about gay babies.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
