Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
