I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
