This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize