I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
