Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
