so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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