first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
