God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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