that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize