i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Less talking, more tequila
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
