its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
