They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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