Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
