Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
