I hate all girls vehemently.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
