and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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