I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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