she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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