Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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