so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
