I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize