I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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