also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
