I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
