You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize