I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
