I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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