I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Panties = found
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
