grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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