am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
