i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
