Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
