everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As shirtless as possible
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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