Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
