Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
