Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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